When i was weak, you strengthened me.
You ripped the flesh from your back,
placed it firmly on me….
sheltering me from the darkness.
Now here i lay
a prisoner to the elements
recasting the dice to take me back to that place
that time of overwhelming sense of self
I wish i didn’t feel the way i do for you.
That dreams of you do not follow me into the dead of the night…
that the embers of dawn did not carry your name in their midst
I have prayed that your kiss was not the nourishment i crave,
that your touch wasn’t the calm to my soul
That we never made fire,
that these scalding tears were not real
But most of all, i wish you didn’t have to leave me…
i could never have you whole you see
i had to break you down
into digestible pieces
for my palate lacked sophistication
and you paid for this lack
I was birthed from pain
Formed in the very depths of the universe.
i laid within her
drinking of her,
nursing at her teat.
i sharpened my spirit for the battle that is this Life,
laying in wait to make it my footstool.
prepared me for the war that lay within your arms
You must wring it out…
cleanse it off you,
Out of your homes
out of these walls…
You must beckon your truth from beyond
The women before me,
the ones who made a feast of their silence on the daily
bowing at the altar that is their husbands
The ones who pierced the night
beckoning their husbands from the dark,
cleansing their palates from the bitter aftertaste of lust lugged home by their husbands
they live in me
their silence fires my soul
emboldens my passion and stride
strengthening me in hours of doubt..
for them i carry the torch of life
You are too bold, they said.
Do my words sting?
does your blood rise from fury from the flow of truth uncouth?
does my release from years of tormented silence shrivel your manhood?
does the blood coursing from my ripened tongue turn your flesh cold?
as the color gushes forth unbidden from this ocean