you’ve pierced yourself till you bleed,
willing the darkness out of you,
till all you had was the light you so desperately sought.
You’ve let your soul stay imprisoned in this place for so long
Tell me did you find pleasure,
so why cling to it?
do you not know the darkness sits afraid of you
I am a cantankerous cacophony of trips and falls
Resets, upgrades and crashes;
A medley of wordless sounds
piercing the mass of the universe.
I am making my mark,
Creating music and art from the indelicacies of life.
I have to.
My sanity depends on it.
I wish i didn’t feel the way i do for you.
That dreams of you do not follow me into the dead of the night…
that the embers of dawn did not carry your name in their midst
I have prayed that your kiss was not the nourishment i crave,
that your touch wasn’t the calm to my soul
That we never made fire,
that these scalding tears were not real
But most of all, i wish you didn’t have to leave me…
The women before me,
the ones who made a feast of their silence on the daily
bowing at the altar that is their husbands
The ones who pierced the night
beckoning their husbands from the dark,
cleansing their palates from the bitter aftertaste of lust lugged home by their husbands
they live in me
their silence fires my soul
emboldens my passion and stride
strengthening me in hours of doubt..
for them i carry the torch of life
I brew magic everyday
on this ebony canvass divine
destitution and death from this body of mine
I have kissed every crevice,
spoken lovingly to the darkened parts,
serenaded it under the starry moonlight
and awoke it with kisses at dawn…
i have loved myself to life,
with every birth and breath of mine,
to have you rip me apart again.
He hated it. The strength of my tongue
like he taught me to tame it. The fire that burned beneath my chest….
like he taught me to make a feast of my mother’s silence.
This wanton tongue of mine,
fashioned from the oppressed eyes and sighs of the supple bodies
sharpened edges doused in the tears of my women passed.
This tongue will no longer hold this weight.
She will soar free with no fear.
On this bed…..
i have tasted those lips,
sealed our fortunes with a thousand kisses.
I traced your very lifeline with my tongue,
etched my name on your being,
now you wear my imprint on your soul
Adorned to the heavens with my wiles
On this bed…
I have choked on your distance
cowered from your heated malice…
i have bitten down on this tongue that once pleasured you…
On this bed.
i watch your strangeness make a home
On this bed.