I come from a tribe of sex-less women
women who drown in the pools of birth and piety to keep a man
Women who balk at the call of their innate need…
need to feed the goddess that reside within them
I come from this place
where self-indulgence spells harlot
where fucking mocks piety
The piety of bearing a seed in this sin
I come from this place
where pleasure demands immediate cleansing,
to wash this scent of life itself, clean
I exist in this place where my desires reflection stands like a stranger
An affront to my eyes
I have learned to wade into the shallow waters of pain.
To recognize my reflection in its murky waves
letting my body, weighless to its power
surrender to this undulating will
I bare witness as my ego sinks to the bottom,
feeding the ravenous hunger that fill it
dying a little from this unwanted surrender.
I claw at life,
searching for respite.
Hoping against these insistent waters
to find revival in its depth.
for nourishment to fill my soul, in this place
Here i lay in the bosom of Calamity
suckling at her teat
waiting for her nourishing Ambrosia
to fill this body;
Ready it for the warpath that lays ahead
Here i lay with my home;
watching the dawn kiss the earth, ‘rousing it from slumber.
playing the fool…waiting
for the night to fall that i may lay;
with this darkness,
this place i call home
allowing our sins spill over into the silent hours of dawn
is it not enough?
…that you wear sadness about you,
crowning its glory in your life as you worship at its feet?
Will you not walk in the glory of your joyous spirit?
What entices you so about sadness that you cling like a child clings to a mothers sturdy shoulder?
Is it your safe haven?
is your rebirth in this space
Tell me young soul
whisper to me why..
I saw Mummy today,
I spoke her name out loud, with glee in my voice
with eyes feasting on her frailty.
I saw the face that distance and dreams had dragged across oceans to strange lands.
That time flirts with.
I felt her leathery skin beneath my fingers as my willowy arms wrapped around her.
admist the throngs,
i beheld her graying hairs
witnessed as the wisdom lines;
the wrinkles lay claim to the being that housed me.
i heard her voice loud and clear,
the voice that held strength, love, terror and wisdom once so close,
i listened with a somber heart as the wrinkles told tales of memories created and etched in the past….
of encouraging words woven together like a protective shield against life.
she listened as the harbinger….Time, stood whispering dreams lost by the wayside of life’s perils
she listened, with tears in her eyes as Time slowly stole Mummy away
She watched as the tear rolled down her mothers leathery face,
wondering if her fathers vices had followed him home
wondering if the smell on his loins and shirt caused her mothers core shake uncontrollably…
if the vows before the creator amused his court..
She wondered if she bore her fathers vice within her bones, imprinted on her soul;
fed daily by the glances thrown her way,
the slight touch of a hand,
a knowing smile.
if she would become the tears her mother shed